$RHEATARD · a memecoin on NEAR
Helmet on. Brain off.
He wore a helmet to the moon. He forgot the rocket. The goofiest, gassiest, most helmet-wearing coin on NEAR, paired with $DIARHEA because of course it is.
rheatard-9.nearlytrade.near
Official $RHEATARD site. This site never asks you to connect a wallet, enter a seed phrase, or claim anything. He can't even spell "seed phrase".
Poke him. He's got gas.
Live market numbers
Asking DexScreener. He's slow.
Wut is Rheatard?
A brief history, written in crayon.
Rheatard lives behind the Rhea dumpster with a stolen army helmet, one sock, and a banana peel he refuses to walk around. He has never read a whitepaper. He tried to eat one once.
One night he looked up at the big pink moon and said the only smart thing he has ever said: "to the moon." Then he farted so hard the toilet paper unrolled itself.
That's it. That's the coin. No roadmap, no utility, no brain. Just vibes and gas.
Report Card
Student: RHeAtaRd| Subject | Grade | Teacher's comment |
|---|---|---|
| Math | F | Counted to ten. Got to "banana". |
| Spelling | F- | Spelled his own name four different ways. |
| Diamond hands | A+ | Hands too confused to let go. |
| Gas production | A++ | Evacuated the gym. Twice. |
| Helmet safety | A | Never takes it off. Not even to shower. |
| Getting near Lee | F |
Parent signature: rheatard's mom (he signed it himself)
Tokenomiks
We had a roadmap. He ate it.
Last known figures
rheatard-9.nearlytrade.near
How 2 Buy
So easy even he did it. Eventually.
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Get a NEAR wallet
Any NEAR wallet works. Write your seed phrase on paper. Not on your arm. Not on Twitter.
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Get some NEAR
Buy NEAR on an exchange and send it to your wallet. Double-check the address. Rheatard didn't.
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Go to nearly.trade
Open the $RHEATARD page on nearly.trade and connect your wallet there. Never on this site.
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Swap for $RHEATARD
Hit buy, put your helmet on, and hold. Like, really hold. Hold it in.